Wednesday, September 28, 2011

our daily bread... does that come gluten free?

[FAIR WARNING:  i think this is going to be a whiny one.]

"When I first moved to New York and I was totally broke, sometimes I would buy Vogue instead of dinner. I felt it fed me more." - Carrie Bradshaw Sex and the City

As much as I LOVE food...  sometimes i wish one of two things: 1.) that i didn't need to eat.  and or 2.) that i didn't need to worry about what i can and can't eat ALL the time.

i should feel grateful that there are a ton of things i can eat without too much worry.  fresh fruits and veggies, meat, most cheese, nuts, and best of all chocolate.  i should also feel grateful that i'm a great cook and very creative at turning things lurking around my cupboards into wonderful meals for myself.  

however, sometimes i just want to go through the dunkin donuts drive thru and get an egg and cheese croissant, eat it, enjoy it, and not be sick.  sometimes i just want to be able to go to a pizza party and not have to ask for a special pizza from a special shop, (even though it is super delicious.)  sometimes i just want to not have to worry before going out with friends to eat and frantically google the menu the night before and pray for something gluten free i can eat and not get sick from.  sometimes i don't want to have to explain why i want to go to uno's a second time in a month and why i don't want to try a new place.  sometimes i don't want to feel so hungry that in the moment i don't care what i eat as long as i'm not hungry anymore, and then feel so terrible about myself afterward.  sometimes i just want to be like everyone else. 

i know i'm not the only person with food allergies.  i'm very grateful that i don't have to carry an EpiPen to save my own life.  But sometimes it just sucks not being able to just go somewhere and eat.  it sucks to have to read every food label before buying something at the store.  it sucks sitting at lunch watching other people eat things i used to eat and still want to eat.  it sucks when people offer me new things to try and i have to say no.  it sucks to have to say, "no, i don't like the pot pies, because i can't eat them."  it sucks when you think you've been good and eaten "safe" foods, but you get sick anyway.

oh well.  i'm glad i had years of being blissfully unaware of food contents.  i think this is going to be my new gluten free mantra:

thanks for letting me vent.  i think i just have to listen to my grandma on this one... she has two comments that will always sick with me.  1.) there is always someone who is worse off than you.  and 2.) how's your diet going?

the first one is very true and makes me feel like a jerk for whining.  and the second one pisses me off at first and then i just smile and say something to the effect of:  it's going ok.  i  think to myself:  she's so cute and she'll never understand.  on that note.
have a happy gluten free day!  :)

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